we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
