chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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