Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
