do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
