I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do vagina's smell?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
