It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
