I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
