here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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