just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize