I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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