matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize