"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
