Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize