Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
