YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
