So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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