I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
