Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
PANTIES FOUND
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
