I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize