I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
