Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
