my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
