You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
foreskin is a definite game changer
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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