I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
