Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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