...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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