the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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