Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
