Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
