I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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