Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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