you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
