My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
