Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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