so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
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I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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