I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
