I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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