How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
