I don't think brook has ever known best
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
