Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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