Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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