More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
