If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
