I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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