My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
