Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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