i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
