You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
