we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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