Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
