If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She's JV to your varsity
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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