Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
