elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
