i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
