I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
