Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
there is glitter all over my balls
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
