Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
