Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
