I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Blood and glitter go together right?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
